I went to try them on this evening and they won't zip up over my fat calves. Strangely, I am not having a go at myself the way I used to. I am, however, really upset. And angry. Though I'm not sure who I'm angry at or why. I'm definitely fed up about that. I've wanted them for weeks and now there is no point getting them.
I'm still feeling positive that this is working for me. I am in size 18 jeans again, albeit with hold-it-all-in pants. I think there is definitely a feeling of impatience. When I gave up the scales, I started to give up the intense desire to lose weight. Weightloss has always been non-negotiable; it had to happen, but the intensity was diminishing. This week, when I realised I was really losing weight, it brought that desire back. I tasted success, it tasted good and I wanted more. I'd lost the patience, and the bad food habits/incessant gremlin niggling came back scarily fast.
I'm in for the long haul. This makes me feel so free and so happy, even the crap days are never as crap as they used to be. Only five months til fairy training starts! :O)
5 comments:
You are doing great, Nicola! It's great that some weight is starting to drop off now - although I can see how you are struggling with the wanting more success. That weight will come right off in its own time with IE. You know that's true - becuase it's happening, girl!!
Kerry xx
Is it really just you making you feel impatient? Or could it be something to do with everyone elses pre-xmas weight whinges? I know I'm surrounded by females lamenting their tummys and thighs and bums and what they can't possibly wear for xmas do's..... so much energy goes into it too... I've never had that problem, but then I've always been mega obese :D
There are some great internet sites that sell lovely boots. Also Evans have some really great styles.
http://www.duoboots.com/boots.php
I have the same problem Nic, with boots, as does my friend Catherine, and she is the same size(ish) as me but taller. We've just got 'fat calves' and most maunfacturers, and even Clarkes, make boots for ladies with thin calves!! I spoke to a man in a small, family shoe shop here in Sheffield (they sell gorgeous boots and shoes but very expensive) and he said he couldn't understand it as actually my calves are what he would describe as average size!! So it's just the boots that are too blimmin' small!!!
You're doing great btw. I can understand your impatience though, but just remember how long it took to put the weight on, it always takes even longer to lose it! Hang on in there sweetie!!
Ax
You sound so relaxed and in control around IE Nicola, you have total faith that it will work which is probably essential. Well done.
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