Tonight I'm feeling rubbish and desperately want to be slim so that others find me attractive. Why do I want others to find me attractive? Why do I want to feel validated in that way?
*sigh*
Perhaps a bit too "heart on my sleeve" but I think I'm feeling a bit frumpy and fed up as a wife and mother. I think I'm associating my previous younger life with slimness. I'd say young, free and single but I've only been single for six weeks since I was fourteen and a half lol. Perhaps it's wanting to have it all - that rush that you get from other people finding you attractive, but the security and stillness and stability that love provides. I'd never switch the love that I have with Ben for anything in the world, but it'd be nice to feel sexy too sometimes. Why can't I associate my size with sexiness?
Hmmf.
Well, now I just feel sad and silly, which I guess is better than feeling like I wanted to ring my mum (Cambridge Diet counsellor) for shakes and soups.
Silly me!
Saturday, 8 December 2007
Hmpf
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Did you ever try belly dancing? That can make you feel sexy and move sexy and I'm sure Ben would love it too ;)
This is how I feel at the moment Nicola so I can completely empathise with the way you feel.
I can totally empathise too as I'm going through feeling frumpy as well at the moment. *hugs* to you.
You are doing brilliantly with all this Nicola and you will get there. Can you maybe afford to treat yourself to something new to wear - even if it's only a new lippie or something just to help boost your mood?
I like your new Christmas blog-theme :-)
Kerry xx
Post a Comment