Went to see my doctor this morning. I'm being referred to the Psychiatric team because I'm still not improving and over the last month or so I've got considerably worse. Utterly determined not to let this affect either my OU work or my BC fairy course in April. Though saying that, I had a mad rush to get my assignment in tonight. I submitted it with 3 minutes to go, though I think I did a good job considering the circumstances. I got a 79% on my first assignment. I will be happy with anything above 65% but realistically expecting somewhere between 50-65%.
The doctor gave me a questionnaire to rate how bad the symptoms are and I got 22 out of 27, so quite high. I have no appetite again.
I am also having some binge type desires that I'm not entirely sure are linked to the weight loss thing. I want to eat when I feel hard done by, and I wanted to eat tonight to celebrate getting my assignment in but we didn't have anything I felt like eating. I'm also very aware that eating doesn't work the way it used to anymore so it would be utterly pointless as it wouldn't even be a comfort, which makes the desires all the more confusing.
Ordered £32 worth of stuff from Avon though, so hopefully that will cheer me up a little when it arrives on the 12th. I bought some red lipstick and nail polish (my favourite colour), a teal eyeliner/eyeshadow duo thing as I always wear neutral colours and wanted to try something difference, and a tamagotchi pet thing LOL. I'm such a kid. I'm sure it will be rubbish, but it's only a fiver and I'm sure Toby will use it if I don't. Still, the thought of treating myself to something silly like that brings a smile to my face which is worth a whole lot more than a fiver at the moment :O)
Wednesday, 5 December 2007
Rubbishy Rubbishness
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2 comments:
Tamagochi's are good fun... you can't help but smile at it. PHQ score is pretty high so it's good you got referred. Some of our patient's get referred at score 15. Can take a while to get seen and assessed, but then you get sent to the best therapy for you. Lots of choice.. group or private, behavioural therapy, psychotherapy, medication are just 3 of a half dozen options. A good thing for improving mood too is exercise. BUT it takes determination to book it in your timetable and stick to it no matter how you feel. Best help of all is postivity. (and I'm the worlds greatest pesimist lol)
Oh go for it with the Tamagochi!
You know what I'm like about pretty things, choose them over food any day!
Sorry to hear that things aren't great. You're an amazing woman though, and you will most certainly pull through. I think a lot of people with mental health thingies find this time of year particularly hard, I know I'm really struggling to keep afloat, so well done for being brave enough to go and get the help you need.
You're a babe, take care.
A
xx
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