Worrying

Hmm. I was hungry. I cooked my dinner - salmon with mashed potato and steamed vegetables, something I love, and dished it up. Then my husband arrived home and said he wasn't hungry. I felt upset by this, because I had been working hard to make sure everywhere was nice when he came home, the children were fed and bathed, I even had put on a non-baby-stained top. Oh, the glamourous life of a housewife!

So I shoved his dinner back in the oven with foil on top and sat down to mine, alone. I must have completely zoned out because when I tuned in, I felt stuffed and yet I felt I was still hungry, as I hadn't actually eaten anything. I let my dinner go down a bit and had two chocolate yoghurts (which I made sure I kept tuned in for), which seem to have done the trick. I am not food hungry anymore, but I still feel so sad.

Apart from feeling rejected and disappointed that my efforts came to nothing, I can't think of why I reacted the way I did. I feel like there is more to it than just being annoyed at my husband.

I am sad that his rejection resulted in me zoning out, especially as I have been doing so well recently. I wonder if the tuning out was what made me feel like I needed the chocolate yoghurts. The salmon was a little bland actually. Maybe what I needed was something with a lot of flavour.

I feel better for realising I felt rubbish and coming and posting here instead of sitting and feeling low. I think I am tired too. And a bit bored too. And I guess I'm a bit lonely as well.

I think I might go and curl up in bed with my Beyond Chocolate book as soon as the sheets are dry.